Sisters: like Tia and Tamera except a restaurant and not two human relatives

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A cool restaurant/bar/live music venue in an old hardware store with a lot of wooden details…in Brooklyn?! Well, I never!

  • Subway stop: Clinton-Washington
  • Walk from subway: 7 minutes
  • Neighborhood: Clinton Hill
  • Location: 900 Fulton St between Washington Ave and Waverly Ave

In the not too distant past, there was a time when I had many lofty dreams, several of which stemmed from blogs that seemed to be going nowhere. Never one to easily learn a lesson, here we are today, writing yet another blog entry on yet another blog that may or may not be read. Why do I bring this up? Because in reinvigorating the “Off the G” brand with it’s first real post, I’m merging this blog with another blog that maybe had potential, but just faded into the deep recesses of the internet. I’m of course talking about my barely read blog that I co-wrote with my sister all about being a sister, growing up sisters, and having a sister. The blog was aptly named “Sisters.” The title really let our readers know right from the start just what to expect in creativity and originality. So when thinking of restarting this blog, I could think of only one place and only one person that I could go explore it with. If you haven’t put two and two together yet, I’m talking about going to a place called Sisters with my sister. A couple of weeks ago, while my sister was in town, we made the trip to our namesake to try out their “New American” cuisine because we’re forward thinkers and “Old American” is so last year. Make American New Again!

When first approaching Sisters, you’re greeted by a pretty narrow set of doors and windows, above which they advertise all the important meals of the day: Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, and Music. How can they fit all those foods, including the music food, inside what looks like a very tiny space? Sorcery?! Close. Much like Diagon Alley in Harry Potter is deceptively small from the outside being that it’s in the back of a dank pub, so is Sisters much larger than it appears. But instead of tapping on some bricks with a wand to enter, you simply have to look to your left and you’ll notice that there’s actually another set of doors that leads into the restaurant. Ya got pranked.

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I bet you do want to enter through these doors. Think again, friend. THINK AGAIN.

Once you step inside you’re like, “Wait a minute, this is huge! And I can see the sky through the ceiling! Are you sure this isn’t from Harry Potter? They can see the ceiling in their dining hall because of some ancient enchantments.” Wrong again! No magic here, unless you want to call the ability of skylights made of glass to show us the outside world above us magic. In that case, yes, magic. Once you take your eyes off the sky and focus more on your physical surroundings, you’re immediately struck by how modern, designy, wooden, and overall Brooklyn-like this place feels. Almost too cool for school, but not really because I went there once for breakfast and there was a Norwegian sailing group made up of 15 or so middle-aged Nordic men speaking their native tongue and I’m assuming swapping stories about the stormy seas. They were also drinking large quantities of wine at 11am on a Tuesday. So maybe they’re also too cool for school. Do Norwegian sailors go to school? Something I will ask Siri later. Back to the look of Sisters. I wish I could say that my sister and I matched the interior and gave off the same effortlessly stylish vibe, but for some reason that day we decided it would be fun if one of us wore all black and the other all pink as we pretended we were gearing up for an early Halloween. Also, we had spent the first half of the day watching the movie “Sisters,” starring Amy Poehler and Tina Fey, ordering coffee to be delivered to my door, and wearing sweatpants until we got dressed at 2pm. When we go decide to go with the sisters theme, we go all out. While we may not have matched the impeccably designed interior, we did match their large and in charge size. We thought the first room we stepped into was it, and then we were led back to another room, past a DJ booth where DJ Bianca was on the ones and twos (hey, I know lingo! I’m hip!), past another bar, and right next to a stage. “Now I’m beginning to think we stepped through a wardrobe into Narnia!” my sister exclaimed. “No, wrong series!” I screamed, as I slapped the glass of water she was about to drink out of her hand, causing it to shatter on the floor and us to be kicked out. Blog entry over.

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The bar in the way back room would’ve been impressive enough on it’s own, but instead Sisters likes to have two well designed bars. Maybe their bars are…sisters…? If so, which bar is Beyonce and which one is Solange?

Just kidding. That last exchange didn’t happen because my sister doesn’t think in terms of Young Adult fantasy series. Being that Sisters is in Brooklyn, the menu of course has a multitude of delicious, healthy sounding dishes that I skipped right over to order the Sisters Mac and Cheese, because being around my sister makes me feel small and like a child. Just kidding, I’m a real jokester! This paragraph is full of jokes! In truth, I just like to eat lots of cheese. It had mushrooms in it, though, so I got my veggies for the day. And since one helping of cheese isn’t enough to satiate my need for cheese, we also ordered the baked wine and cheese. As a reminder, I’m a big fat fuck who has coffee delivered to my door.

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Very much I’m an adult

In addition to the plethora of cheese, Sisters also offers a very well curated cocktail list, because again, this is in Brooklyn. Say you’re in the mood for something called Holidays in the USA because you like to associate holidays with apples and getting wasted on bourbon, Sisters has you covered! More of a fan of the name Pink Orpheus? Me too, despite the fact that I don’t know what coconut orgeat is. Say you like your cocktails with peppers, don’t worry there’s always Geryon’s Revenge, which I like to call Greyjoy, Theon’s Revenge. Man, I must be on a real fantasy series kick right now. At least I’m maturing into more adult choices in literature as this post goes on. I guess that’s just the beauty of Sisters. It matures you.

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Holidays in the USA, Pink Orpheus, and Geryon’s Revenge, I think in order from top to bottom. The bottom two are up for debate. Maybe Sisters will read this and correct me. I welcome it, in fact I encourage it, and it also wouldn’t be the first time!

How does it mature you, you may ask? Well, a week after visiting Sisters with my sister, I decided, hey, maybe I should get off my ass and pretend to be a productive member of society. I hopped on the G and made my way back to Sisters IN DAYLIGHT…FOR BREAKFAST…AND COFFEE. And I ordered a side salad. Sure, the side salad came with burrata, and after the coffee I ordered a Michelada, but I had to balance out the salad. But I’m not the only one who’s maturing. Next week, Sisters is celebrating it’s two year anniversary. If it were a human, it would be walking and talking, but probably talking in it’s own made up language that no one understands, but once you spend enough time with the two year old, you begin to understand that when they say “Dan” they really mean you. You know, regular two year old shit. I guess, if I were really trying to make this analogy work, I could say that Sisters has their own language, too. They’re a cafe in the morning, a brunch place on the weekends, a music venue with live DJs, a restaurant with inventive dishes at night, possibly a place of magic and sorcery. They can’t really be labelled, but you can get a feel for what they are by hanging out with them. Could you also say that about sisters? I know I don’t. I speak English with my sister.

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Burrata and michelada. They almost rhyme.

This is where I’ll leave you for now, with the image of me trying to grasp the English language and how it rhymes and if I speak it with sister. There will be more to come, written in some semblance of English, and as always-

-Keep r-i-d-i-n

-Off the G

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